Below is a listing of the songs on my album. You can read the lyrics and also find out a little bit about what inspired each one. Some of the songs are available to hear online as well. Thank you for your interest in my music!

If you do not have the Real Audio player, you can click here to download it for free.

 


 

From start to finish Golden took almost exactly 9 months to complete, which is very appropriate since at times it felt like giving birth! But mostly it was a great experience of growth and learning—both musically and personally.

Robinson Eikenberry was my partner in every aspect of this project, co-writing two brand new songs with me (The Chosen One and This Old House) and significantly improving one I had already written (Golden). The musicians who played on the album were all so talented, each bringing her or his own style to the songs. I continue to be amazed at the level of talent we have at our fingertips in Santa Barbara! I was lucky to have some friends perform on a few songs—John Mooy, Danny Briere, Antara Blasius, and Delilah Poupore—and I was equally fortunate that my piano teacher, Marianna Hetrick, played the incredible solo and outro on Begin.

One of the songs we’re most proud of is Home. Robinson told me the first time he heard it that he had a vision for how he wanted to produce it; luckily, his vision became a reality. Bruce Winter suggested putting recorders at the beginning of the song (I was skeptical), but after Bruce was done I realized he was right. We got the jiggling piano sound by running the piano through an effects box that mimics a rotating "leslie" speaker. And then there’s what we affectionately call the mutant tundrascape, a sound we achieved using no instruments, just the inner electrical workings of the effects box, but turned up loud. Robinson did some cool looping of my voice and Daniel Zimmerman’s guitar, too. One thing I keep marveling at is that Robinson’s mics are so good that you can actually hear my mouth opening and closing in the first verse between phrases.

When we were almost done with the album we realized that one of the songs (Blind Spot) was not up to the level of the rest of the songs, so we decided to write a new one to replace it. I’m so glad we did because This Old House fits very nicely on the album.

If you’d like to know a little bit about what I think the songs are about, read on. Just keep in mind that there are many other interpretations that are equally valid!
   
 

 

Golden
This is about a falling out I had with my grandmother regarding her relationship with my mother, but it really could relate to many dysfunctional family relationships. Eventually my grandmother and I were able to work things out, but this song really helped me to put the incident behind me.

 

Lyrics for: Golden

Click below to download the:
Real Audio file | MP3 file

 

The Chosen One
This song is about Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the TV version, not the movie). If you know Buffy, you’ll understand why I had to write this song. There’s something about Buffy that’s so empowering. I mean, how often can you watch on TV a woman walking alone at night and not be terrified for her? Plus, it’s just really good story-telling that inspires me to continue being creative in my life.

 

Lyrics for: The Chosen One

Click below to download the:
Real Audio file | MP3 file

 


Look Away
This one is about a relationship I had in which the other person kept going back and forth about whether or not to be with me. Luckily, love does finally take the lead in real life!

 

Lyrics for: Look Away

 


Long Way Out
This song starts a quadrilogy (is that a word?) that together tells a story about someone working through the emotions of her life. Each song has its own origin, though. Long Way Out is about someone who had experienced a traumatic event who can’t manage to work her way out of it quite yet. I’m comparing the trauma of the event itself to the trauma of not being able to get over it.

 

Lyrics for: Long Way Out

 


Home
This one is about deep depression, and wondering if it will ever lift. I got the idea after watching a documentary about Apartheid in South Africa. One of the women featured in it was saying that her spirit no longer lives inside her since her children were killed in the struggle. It was so powerful to me that I wanted to write a song that was sort of from her perspective.

 


Lyrics for: Home

 


The Rope
This is about someone making the decision to do something about the unhappiness in her life, even though it’s difficult. This is also know as my "therapy song!"

 


Lyrics for: The Rope

 


Fly
Fly is about me finally becoming who I am, without exactly knowing how it happened. It’s really my coming-out song, but it can relate to anyone who’s gone through a struggle and has come out happier and more confident in themselves for the effort.

 

Lyrics for: Fly

Click below to download the:
Real Audio file | MP3 file

 


Black & White
This is one of my oldest songs, and is about my frustration with people who don’t ever express opinions on things, even if they have them. I hope I’ve moved beyond this intolerant view in my old age!

 

Lyrics for: Black & White

 


This Old House
This song is from the perspective of someone who has a terminal illness who is feeling betrayed by her body, but is trying to live in the moment and not think too much about the future. Robinson and I wrote this song together at the very end of the recording process to replace another song that wasn’t quite cutting the mustard (Blind Spot was the song we cut).

 

Lyrics for: This Old House

 


Begin
I think this is a truly happy, hopeful song. It’s about knowing that you have the power to be who you want to be, and all you have to do is tap into that power. Robinson and I agreed that this song had to be the last one on the album—we wanted the uplifting feeling to be what the listener is left with.

 

Lyrics for: Begin

Click below to download the:
Real Audio file | MP3 file